You know, I never
really told you this but
I loved you.
I loved how you
smile.
I loved how you
laugh.
I loved how your eyes
shined.
I loved the way you
talk, your voice was music to my ears.
I loved your face,
the face that used to be able to make me smile.
Now your face just
makes me cry.
Not even silent
crying, but uncontrollable sobbing.
I cry when I see your
face, the memories we had, the fun times we spent together. I cry thinking
about my stupidity and stubborness for holding on to you, despite everyone else
telling me to let go because you weren't worth it.
But I felt you were
worth it. I felt that 'good things come to those who wait'. Ha, boy was I
wrong.
You posted that photo
of your new lover. Someone I didn't know existed because you never mentioned
anything about her. You didn't bother telling me your heart has been taken by someone
else so easily while I fought for it for 5 fucking years. I broke down the
walls you built around your heart only for someone else to take it. I deserved
at least the truth about your feelings. Truth hurts, so you should've told me
sooner. At least it wouldn't have hurt as much. I was in love with you but I
still deserved to know because I was your friend.
I was your friend for
5 years - listening to your rants, keeping all your secrets, sharing moments. I
should've at least been told that you found someone else and that you're sorry.
But even till now, you've never formally apologized to me for breaking my
heart. You didn't see me suffer while you went around frolicking in the fields
with your new lover. Because I was suffering on the inside. It was eating me
alive. I kept quiet.
I thought you would
at least have the common sense to come to me first to apologize for not telling
me sooner, considering the fact that you actually knew how I felt about you for
the past 5 years. I never stopped loving you.
Until I found out
that day.
You little shit. I
had to forget about you. I drowned myself in the virtual laggy world of
Destiny. I opened my heart to let others in. I finally gave up on you because
you never gave a damn about me. I forced myself to remember all the bad things
you did to me, all the mini heartbreaks, the complete disregard for my
feelings, the lack of guilt and remorse for leading me on. I hated you for
making me chase you for 5 years and of which along the way, you actually gave
me false hopes.
No don't even say you
treat all your female friends the same way you treated me. That's just
bullshit. After everything we've been through, you and I both know, we had a
thing going on at one point. But it fell through, along with your heart.
Maybe that's why
you're so heartless towards me.
I'm over it now. I've
moved on. I crush on other guys. You're just merely a memory of what could've
been.
I only broke into
tears because I realized I had really loved you.
I'm sure we can be
friends now, but it won't be the same anymore. You've changed me, thank you but
also, fuck you.